Born Into Chaos, The Summer of Love, 1969.

It was the Summer of Love, 1969, Miami. It was a big year in U.S. history. “The Man” landed on the moon, the Vietnam War was in full force, the hippies of San Francisco were in full swing, and free love was all the rage. Bam! On Summer Solstice, my soul decided to join the party, and I crash-landed into my body into the most dysfunctional home one could imagine. Hello Starseed Mission!

My parents met two years before my birth when my mom answered a help wanted sign at my dad’s small business. She’d walk by his office daily and finally found the courage to apply. My mom, a Nicaraguan immigrant with a 4th-grade education, was one of nine children who fled Managua during the political unrest of the Samoza Regime. My uncle had a career in Nicaraguan politics. He was the first to flee and settle in Miami. Shortly after getting settled, he brought over all of his siblings.

My father’s side of the family also has a complicated history. As a free-spirited WWII veteran of French-German descent, he was the son of an entrepreneur and became one himself. His mother owned a bar when he was just a child, and he would often sneak a nip of booze when no one was looking. After his military service, he opened his own income tax and accounting business, where clients lined up around the block for his financial expertise, and the free beer. The keg my dad kept in his office was a genius business move, as the waiting room couches were always full. It was a real party. Don’t you love the 70’s? This enterprising spirit was passed on to me…minus the spirits…well, with a different quality of spirits. 

My dad was always the life of the party and did all he could to keep it going. After he and my mom married in 1967, they often threw wild get-togethers at our home into the wee hours of the night. I remember being awoken at an ungodly hour and asked to stand at attention while he showed us off to his bar buddies whom he’d just met. My mom got swept up into the scene with him. It was a non-stop rollercoaster ride of alcohol, reveling, and unfortunately, child neglect and physical abuse.

My dad had a son and daughter from a previous marriage, and my mom had a son when they married. I am the only child from both parents, and it was very lonely at times because my siblings were about a decade older than me and had their own interests. Their main role, in my eyes, was to protect me from the tyrant living with us. Yes, my dad was an abuser and also a narcissist. My mom was the main target of my father’s wrath, but among us siblings, my sister and two brothers got the brunt of it. My dad’s bad behavior would eventually lead to his murder, but more on that later.

Abandoned at the age of five.

My sister Karen, who was the oldest, helped raise me until I was 5 years old. Afraid and tired of the abuse, she ran away from home to escape my father’s cruel rules of mistreatment and punishment. This was my first abandonment. At that age, I could not fully understand why she had to go, so I am sure it saddened me deeply, and my world was forever changed. She also convinced our brother Michael to leave so they could begin their journey to find their biological mother. I’d already felt lonely as a child; their departure was confusing and deepened my feelings of uncertainty.

In this new chapter of my life, my other brother Marcio became my primary protector and father figure. He and I became very close and suffered through three more years until my dad was murdered by a stranger in the parking lot of a bar. I was only eight years old, and my parents were in the middle of a divorce when he died, so the last year of his life was very dark for us. There was a lot of disharmony, division, manipulation, and abuse. Honestly, I only have a handful of memories of my dad, some good, most not so good.

Shortly after my father’s passing,  my mom remarried. This new man in our lives was emotionally and verbally abusive, but hey, not physically, so that counts for something, right? He was a very sarcastic man. While our quality of life improved over the next eight years, my stepdad’s strict rules, abuse, and cynicism took a toll on my emotional health. I ended up running away at 16 to go live with Marcio, who rented a condo only a few miles away, thankfully.

On the road to self-destruction. My first timeline leap.

Right after high school, my late 80s summer job at the mall turned into a four-year career as a manager in the fashion industry.  I had a fantastic manager who recognized my ambition and leadership skills. I traveled all over Florida and Northern California, opening new stores and hiring sales teams at each location. After five years in retail management, my soul yearned for more, so I went to college and studied commercial photography. I loved my new career and enjoyed my creative freedom.

Fast forward to South Beach in the early 90s. I was a fashion photographer fresh out of college and hanging out with models, agents, and fellow photographers. At the time, I was also working as a photo assistant for a large department store catalog producer. I worked my way up to being a production assistant, which seeded my graphic design career.

For seven years, between my late teens and early twenties, I spent much time dancing the night away until sunrise in some of Miami’s hottest clubs. We’d frequently go straight from dancing under the disco ball to swimming in the ocean as the sun crested the horizon. My main haunts were the Warsaw Night Club, The Paragon, and The Clevelander Hotel. Drinking and dancing at night and sunning by day on Miami beaches that sparkled with crystal clear blue waters. South Beach was fabulous, fun…and dangerous!

Ecstasy had just come onto the scene, and intuitively I knew that it wasn’t for me. Seeing a few friends get hurt from it, I stayed away. More and more, I felt a sense of urgency to leave. I remember driving home one night, thinking how blessed I’d been never to have crossed paths with the police, but I felt that my luck might start to run out. I felt that something unpleasant would happen if I continued with this lifestyle. I knew I had to make a drastic change.

On the path to finding myself, I found my true love.

In 1994, I declared to the Universe my intention to move away from home. My cousin Bridgette from New Jersey had just moved in with us, and as space was running out, I saw that as a sign to move on. When a co-worker who had just moved across the country to Ashland, Oregon, invited me to join him, I leaped at the opportunity!  Within two weeks, my bags were packed, my car was stuffed to the max, and off I went to start my new life! The cultural differences between Miami and Ashland were huge! Imagine me, a young, tan Latina in a town where grunge was all the rage. I found all the hot spots in this small, artsy college town and made friends quickly. This proved to me my powers of manifestation, but I was still somewhat clueless as to what I was capable of. 

Finally, at the age of 25, I left the place that had so many dark memories. I felt guilty leaving my mom, but I knew I needed to escape the darkness, and at the time, she was still drinking alcohol heavily. My mother never drove a car or got a driver’s license. I found myself driving her to work and running her errands. It felt like I became the parent in some weird dysfunctional way. And, as if my childhood traumas were not enough, I also had a lot of negative experiences with my mom in my adult years between the ages of 18 and 25. Everything from coming home to her passed out on the couch to crazy stories of her constantly being hurt in a string of really inauspicious events like car accidents, home invasion burglaries, and getting robbed at gunpoint on our front porch. I was part of that last one, and it was really frightening, to say the least.

Looking back now, I know that my roommate was merely the catalyst for getting me on the West Coast. That Southern Oregon chapter could be a mini-novel, so I will save it for my book. After only a year and a half there, in 1996, I moved to Los Angeles with my boyfriend, and that relationship would end a year later. This was all part of the Divine Plan because, in December of 1997, I met my true love and now husband, Mark.

Mark answered the call I placed in the local papers for a roommate. I had a 2-bedroom apartment in the San Fernando Valley. Nervously awaiting his arrival, I was on my  front-facing balcony, watering my plants. When I saw him walking from the sidewalk into my apartment building entryway, I heard myself say, “Oh no, who is this angel coming to save me?” For the first 6 months, we’d stay up late talking for hours and hours about all sorts of things. We knew there was a spark between us that could not be put out, and the rest is history. Despite some initial obstacles, he moved into my home, into my life, and into my heart.

India & Egypt, 2001, our big activations.

My best friend and I had plans to go to India to attend the Maha Kumbha Mela—the world’s largest spiritual festival. Every 12 years, the great pot in the sky drops sweet nectar from the heavens at the convergence of three rivers. This was the 2001 Mela; the world was different back then, but still sweet in a way. 9/11 was still several months away. My friend backed out of the trip at the last minute, and I went alone. Three weeks later, Mark joined me in Varanasi, at the heart of the Ganges River.

We traveled for four months, exploring the great Motherland, India, Nepal, Sri Lanka, and Egypt. When we weren’t struggling with the utter chaos that India brings, we were absolutely ecstatic. Once in Egypt, we visited Luxor, the Great Pyramids, and all the tombs and museums.

We spent almost a week SCUBA diving and living the carefree life of the Bedouins, where we ended our trip in Dahab on the Red Sea. We realized that if we could survive four months together traveling with all the stresses, we could survive anything.

Egypt and India must have awakened some part of our souls because, after that, we flew home, reignited, knowing we belonged together. Mark and I launched Conscious Creative, our eco-design and video agency in the Bay Area. In 2002, Mark and I created San Francisco’s first green-certified creative agency. We provided graphic design and video production services for nonprofits, green businesses, and governmental organizations, like county open spaces and parks. 

Conscious Creative was always like a lighthouse, a beacon for those on their path to waking up and doing something to serve planet Earth and humanity. Despite the joy and abundant creativity these projects brought me, I knew there was something more significant that my soul came here to do, and I started to feel another path light up for me to embark on. Slowly but surely, I began to feel the pull of my Starseed mission. I felt the desire to expand spiritually and connect closer to my Sirian & Pleiadian guides. 

The deep healing begins!

In 2009, our sons were born. We had twins, but sadly only one of them decided to incarnate in the physical this time around. The loss of our son Phoenix was devastating. It took me half a decade to get to the point of even being able to talk about it without falling apart. Despite this tremendous loss, we were thankful for our surviving son Lucas, an extraordinary boy. During this time, a lot of spiritual healing took place within my family and me.

In 2017, we were blessed with adopting Ruby, a beautiful baby girl. The catalyst for inner child growth. This is another chapter of our lives that could be a mini-novel, so stay tuned for the book.

2012, Starseeds Activate!

2012 was a big activation year for me, like it was for many Starseeds. It was the year I began studying a variety of spiritual modalities under several teachers. I went down many rabbit holes and found myself on a great awakening journey that was sometimes isolating and difficult. My family thought I was nuts, but I could not learn fast enough. I studied everything from Reiki, Kundalini Yoga, meditation, The Emotion Code, EFT, and energy healing to extraterrestrial experiencers, UFOs, implants, multi-dimensionality, and remote viewing. It was all very compelling, to say the least!

I studied with at least eight spiritual teachers in my quest for truth and self-discovery. In discovering more of my own divinity, I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from them, good and bad. One of my lessons in this lifetime is to learn discernment from false gurus and deceptive teachers. I had the misfortune of encountering at least three narcissistic teachers on my journey. Placing your vulnerability and trust in a spiritual teacher who is a narcissist or, worse yet, a covert narcissist is one of the biggest heartbreaks I have had to overcome. However, I recognize this as part of my discernment training and understand that it was meant for me to help others better discern and incorporate this vital life lesson too! Mark and I created a web series about this theme in 2012 called, Lovers & Others.

Divine Light Codes to others in places of darkness.

I am a Sirian Starseed with a team of over 13 spirit guides, and Archangel Raphael was assigned to me at birth. Having billions of past lives, I was also a heavenly Warrior Angel who fought in the battle of the fallen angels at the very birth of light and darkness. I’ve also incarnated as a Mermaid Warrior, a General of the Underwater Realms who led our army into battle, just to name a few. When Earth (Gaia) was in danger of losing her light, I volunteered to leave my home planet and come to Earth to be one of the original keepers of the light so that Gaia could thrive.

In my Human Design chart, I learned that I am what is known as ‘The Vessel Of Love,’ which explains my unconditional love for humanity. I am innately nurturing, and my motherly essence creates a safe space for my clients to go through their own awakening process. I imbue all my healing clients with heart-centered frequencies of love and only the most potent Divine Light Codes.

Hidden darkness.

Don’t let shame or guilt stop you from loving yourself or your mission. Humanity’s evolution is an ongoing process, like peeling the layers of an onion. Regardless of where you are on your awakening journey, there is almost always more healing to be done.

If I had chosen to remain in shame or guilt from my dark childhood experiences, I would have never understood my own evolution as a Starseed and a lightworker. I continue to love myself, even my shadow. Inner-child work is vital to our healing process.

Despite living within the darkest parts of humanity, I have managed to keep hold of my incorruptible innocence. My connection to the Divine. For it is in this connection that I have been able to heal myself and others. Letting go of the blame and shame game is critical to growing and recalling your divine innocence. Remember who you truly are.

It has been a process of deep inner child work and learning how to be vulnerable that has brought me to be able to share these very personal experiences. And from this soul wisdom, I offer my service to every human or Starseed who wishes to uncover their own shadow and begin the healing journey.

If you can relate to my story–and you’ve read this far–first of all, thank you!

Please don’t hesitate to reach out! I would be honored to work with you on your spiritual healing journey. It is my great privilege to support advanced souls and fellow Starseeds.

I offer comprehensive soul mentorships and healing programs for those ready to free their soul and raise their frequency. Book a free discovery call with me, or sign up today.